my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How drunk are you?
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