wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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