That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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