i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
