it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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