And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
