last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
