I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
