Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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