you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
