3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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