She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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