fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
