You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Sext me about skeletons
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
