I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
