You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
