We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
