I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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