Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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