Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
