I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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