Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
