he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
