Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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