Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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