the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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