I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
