did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
