Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
