i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize