..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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