dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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