Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
