WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
