lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
