pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
