I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
