Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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