I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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