Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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