I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
