He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
