I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
