I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
