So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize