I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
