More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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