Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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