Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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