Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
