I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
