she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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