yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
