Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
