yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
