I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize