half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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