I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
