covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
