You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week đ
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes âI drove you last nightâ\nâYou got your dick sucked in the back seatâ
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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