dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This is my gift to your gina
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
