Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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