That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
